A Mother's Thank You Letter to a Blankie

It’s only 4:45 in the early morning. I just got back from the Newport News Williamsburg International airport after sending off Katie for California. This was her college graduation present of choice: a trip to Southern California to reunite with her High School friends. She has been home for over two weeks now, and she had been busy. She introduced us to her love for organic food and tempted me to let go of my love for fried foods and indoctrinated me to her freshly-made gourmet smoothies for breakfast. She completely unpacked all her stuff from her student apartment and re-arranged her room. Now, it looks like she intends to stay for a while again, although she was certain of being accepted on a job interview last week.

Now, I really missed her and went to her room to look around. There I saw important things that are still very dear to her heart.

Here is Pablo, from the famous Build-a-Bear Company. He sometimes becomes Pablita when Katie decided to dress her up with frills and laces. Now he is standing forlorn among her favorite books and movies.

Here is the dream catcher I bought her at a county fair in Texas, when she was still obsessed with everything America Indian.

This morning, I felt a need to feel her presence, so I decided to lie down on her bed to catch more winks of sleep before daylight. But sleep was far from reach. Then, suddenly, I felt a bulky lump from underneath her pillow. I turned on the light for closer inspection and then I saw it – Boobie (her blankie), her lifetime companion since she was a baby. Did she forget it? I knew she cannot sleep without it. Or is today, the day she says goodbye to her Boobie, a sign of total independence?

As I looked at its tattered hems, I cannot help but shed tears. I saw a few safety pins on some corner, a testament that she tried to fix some corners to prevent them from being totally frayed and worn out. It is no longer pristine white and the pictures of tiny bears wearing sky blue dresses are beyond recognition. It is now almost khaki-colored plain fabric with lots of stains and tear: signs that it had been well-used for comfort when she was sick, hurting or frustrated. Then memories of the past came flooding to my touched psyche and heart.

During her first trip to the Philippines when she was two years old, Boobie was her constant companion in the plane during the almost 30 hours flight. Boobie was in the stroller, in the car, to the beach and even in the hammock. Katie hugged and talked to Boobie when she saw my brothers butcher a goat to celebrate our homecoming. She simply could not sleep without it. A year later after needing a Myringotomy (ear tube insertion) at barely three years of age, Boobie took full center stage as she proudly displayed it to the nurses and doctors at the Surgery center.

Then, I remembered the day I dropped her off for her first day in Pre-School. She was full of excitement but extremely worried that nobody will take care of her Boobie while at school. I promised I would, and every time I come to pick her up, her Boobie would be waiting for her in the car and she would immediately grab it, rub her cheeks with it and then she would suck one corner and with her eyes close, she'd take a nap. All is well with the world with Boobie. This blankie has always been under her pillow through the years. She took it with her when we sent her off to Germany for full immersion of German Language and Culture when she was 13. She took it again to Zweibrucken as an exchange student for the Yorktown-Zweibrucken Exchange Program during her Junior year in high School. Boobie explored Switzerland, Austria, Paris and other European tourist spots. Boobie has cruised all around the Caribbean and Mexico.

When we unloaded all of Katie's belongings at her appointed Gladding Residence Center in VCU as a freshman, Boobie was the first to be unloaded. And it had been transported to two other off-campus apartments she has resided. I am pretty certain, Boobie had been her constant companion and confidante during exciting, frustrating as well as her triumphant moments as a student. I am sure it had been her refuge when her heart was broken. Boobie was there during all these times when I couldn’t or those nights when she preferred solitude. If I could, I would preserve this old, stained and “stinky” memorabilia and place it on a shadow box together with her diploma – because it certainly deserved its place there.

So to you, my dearest Boobie:
Thank you so much…
~for comforting my little girl all throughout these years when she was scared of the dark in her tiny room;

~for being her constant loyal companion, when she most needed a friend;

~for not being judgmental when she was not her own true self and when her attitude was not acceptable to my standards;

~for drying her tears when she was broken-hearted;

~and for simply being there for her in all the good and the bad times.

For the next two weeks while she is away, I will celebrate your existence. I promised not get so attached, knowing you will be needed again when she is back. I promised not to wash you, (tempted as I am) because your smell will be the first thing she will notice when she gets back. Today let us both celebrate her choice for independence away from both of us. And if perchance, she decides not to keep you, any longer, DO NOT WORRY! I will keep you for myself – forever.

by Raylene Ann Rodrigo-Baumgart

Post Script:
To all of you ladies, moms, sisters, aunts and grandmas - this blog has a special place where you can post all your longings, your thoughts and experiences. Please share with us your innermost feelings and experiences as moms, sisters, aunts and friends. If you do not want to write it, talk to us and we will help you. As sisters for Christ, it is great to share each other's burdens and happy thoughts.