Kicking the Approval Habit

One of the most insidious addictions we women struggle with is our craving for approval from others. When our need for validation gets in the way of our being who we truly are, we’re in trouble. Fueled by belief that we need their approval in order to be okay, we scurry around looking for “self”-esteem fixes from suppliers that are outside of ourselves. It doesn’t work.

Of course we all need people to appreciate us, but our primary source of approval needs to come from ourselves. The very best way to kick the approval habit is to support and approve of ourselves. This does not mean that we overlook our shortcomings or pat ourselves on the back for being nasty, but, in my many years of being a psychotherapist, I have seen very few people who err on the side of being too easy on themselves.

Authentic self-approval naturally leads to increased approval of others.

Malia attract friends like flowers attract bees. She is a heart-lifter; around her everyone feels better about themselves. She always seems to have a sincere word of praise for those4 around her.

But others are not the only recepients of her approval. She is also very self-confident and comfortable about bestowing accolades on herself. It’s not unusual for her, in an unaffected and honest way, to say something like, “ I am so proud of the way I handled that!” Asked if she had always been so kind to herself, she giggled, “Oh no! I used to be my own worst enemy, but I learned to be my own best friend instead!”

When we learn to accept who we are right now and celebrate who we are becoming, we can kick the approval habit and rely on ourselves for our best approval fixes.

I hope we can all say,
"I, WHOLEHEARTEDLY APPROVE OF MYSELF RIGHT NOW!
WHAT OTHERS THINK OF ME IS THEIR CHOICE!
WHAT I THINK OF ME IS MY CHOICE!
I EASILY APPROVE OF OTHERS!"

From Words of Courage & Confidence by Sue Patton Thoele

Meet Angelica

Hello, my name is Angelica Tsvetkov. I am 11 years old and my birthday is on the date of June 16th. I have 5 members in my family Valeriy, Anna, Igor, Oleg, and me Angelica. We also have 3 pets they are all cats. My favorite color is Fluorescent blue. Some of my hobbies are reading, figure skating, rollerblading, drawing, painting, scrapbooking, marching, doing my pathfinder honors, writing, bells, piano, hanging out with friends and plenty more. I was raised in an SDA family and I love God so much! I had many experiences with him and hope to get baptized soon. I will keep working hard to reach my goals and help the people around me.

Angelica is pictured with her brothers Oleg and Igor and her parents Valeriy and Anna.

The Candle in the Window - Is there room in your inn?

In Ireland a lovely Christmas tradition, handed down and still very much alive today is: ‘The candle in the window’. The ancient Irish custom of placing a lighted candle in a front window of a house on Christmas eve. The large lighted candle is placed there after dark, and not extinguished until after midnight. Now we use electric or battery powered lights just for decorations, but it was originally a symbol of welcome to Joseph and Mary, who, despite their need, were refused shelter in the inn. By this symbol, we offer shelter and room in our hearts for Jesus. As you see the candles in the windows, remind your children to open their hearts to Jesus.

Lattice Blueberry Pie

Ingredients
Crust:
1 1/2 cups all-purpose flour, divided
1/2 cup ice water
1 1/2 teaspoons sugar
1/4 teaspoon salt
4 1/2 tablespoons vegetable shortening
Cooking spray

Filling:
1 cup sugar, divided
3 1/2 tablespoons cornstarch
1/8 teaspoon salt
6 cups fresh blueberries
1 1/2 tablespoons butter or stick margarine, melted
3/4 teaspoon vanilla extract

Preparation
To prepare crust, lightly spoon flour into dry measuring cups; level with a knife. Combine 1/4 cup flour and ice water, stirring with a whisk until well-blended. Combine 1 1/4 cups flour, 1 1/2 teaspoons sugar, and 1/4 teaspoon salt in a bowl; cut in shortening with a pastry blender or 2 knives until mixture resembles coarse meal. Add slurry; mix with a fork until flour mixture is moist. Gently press two-thirds of dough into a 4-inch circle on heavy-duty plastic wrap; cover with additional plastic wrap. Roll dough into a 12-inch circle. Press remaining dough into a 4-inch circle on heavy-duty plastic wrap; cover with additional plastic wrap. Roll dough into a 9-inch circle. Freeze both portions of dough 10 minutes. Working with larger portion of dough, remove 1 sheet of plastic wrap; fit dough into a 9-inch pie plate coated with cooking spray. Remove top sheet of plastic wrap.

To prepare the filling, combine 3/4 cup plus 3 tablespoons sugar, cornstarch, and 1/8 teaspoon salt in a bowl, and sprinkle over blueberries. Toss gently. Stir in butter and vanilla. Spoon blueberry mixture into crust.

Preheat oven to 375°.

Remove top sheet of plastic wrap from remaining dough. Cut dough into 6 (1 1/2-inch) strips. Gently remove dough strips from bottom sheet of plastic wrap; arrange in a lattice design over blueberry mixture. Seal dough strips to edge of crust. Place pie on a baking sheet covered with foil. Sprinkle lattice with 1 tablespoon sugar.

Bake at 375° for 1 hour and 15 minutes or until crust is browned and filling is bubbly. Cool on a wire rack.

The Christmas Tree - Part II

Despite many historians' attempts to link the Christmas tree to an ancient pagan practice, it is actually Christian in origin. The Christmas tree goes back to the medieval German mystery plays. One of the most popular "mysteries" was the Paradise play, representing the creation of man, the sin of Adam and Eve and their expulsion from Paradise. It usually closed with the consoling promise of the coming of the Savior with reference to His Incarnation. These plays were performed in the open, on the large squares in front of churches, or inside the house of God. The Garden of Eden was indicated by a fir tree hung with apples. It represented both the Tree of Life and the Tree of Discernment of Good and Evil, which stood in the center of Paradise. (Gen 2:9)

The Tree in the Home
When the pageant was performed in church, the Paradeisbaum (tree of Paradise) was surrounded by lighted candles and inside the ring of lights, the play was acted. After the suppression of the mystery plays in the churches, the only symbolic object of the play found its way into the homes of the faithful and the Christmas tree became a symbol of the Savior. Following this symbolism, in the 15th century the custom developed into the decorating of the Paradise Tree, already bearing apples, with small white wafers representing the Holy Eucharist. These wafers were later replaced by little pieces of pastry cut in the shapes of stars, angels, hearts, flowers, and bells. And finally, other cookies were introduced bearing the shapes of men, birds, roosters and other animals. The first known use of the fir tree as a Christmas tree is found in a description written by a German traveler visiting Strasbourg in 1605. He tells of trees being planted in rooms, and he notes that they were ornamented with roses of colored paper, apples, tinsel, sugar and cookies. (LaVern Rippley, Of German Ways, Barnes and Noble Books, 1970)

Until the 17th century the Christbaum (as the tree is called in German) had no lights. The Christmas candles, generally used in medieval times, were placed on the Christmas pyramid made of graduated wooden shelves. As time went on, the tree replaced the pyramid in its function of representing Christ as the Light of the world. The candles and glittering decorations were transferred from the pyramid to the tree. A reminder of the origin of the Christmas tree may still be found in sections of Bavaria where fir branches and little trees, decorated with lights, apples and tinsel, are still called Paradeis. (Francis X. Weisner, 1952, The Christmas Book. New York: Harcourt, Brace and Company, 1952)

Although the Christmas tree is now the principal symbol of Christmas in America, it was by no means in general use in American families until late in the 19th century. German immigrants most likely set up the first Christmas trees in America as early as 1710, however. Later, during the Revolutionary War, Hessian soldiers were responsible for disseminating the practice throughout the Eastern seaboard.

In the 19th and early 20th centuries, pioneer families who settled in areas where evergreen trees were scarce made Christmas trees out of bare branches painted green or wrapped with green paper or cloth. Sometimes a "tree" would be made by drilling holes in a broomstick and inserting branches of cedar or juniper into it. Often the only Christmas tree in the community would be in the Church or in the school. In the absence of a Christmas tree, presents were often hung by ribbons from a decorated clothesline strung across the corner of a room.

Compiled by Marie Macri

Snowflake Cookies - Great for Decorations!

Prep: 2 hours (including decorating); Cook: 12 minutes; Chill: 2 hours.

Yield: Makes 20-24 (3- to 4-inch) cookies (serving size: 1 cookie)

Ingredients
COOKIES
1 cup all-purpose flour
1 cup white whole-wheat flour or whole-wheat flour
1/2 teaspoon baking powder
1/4 teaspoon salt
2/3 cup sugar
3 tablespoons canola oil
1/4 cup unsalted butter, softened
2 large egg whites
2 teaspoons vanilla extract
Meringue Icing

Preparation
In a medium bowl, combine flours, baking powder, and salt.

In large bowl, combine sugar, oil, and butter; beat with a stand or hand mixer at low speed until blended (about 3 minutes). Increase speed to high; beat until light and creamy (about 3 minutes), occasionally scraping side of bowl with rubber spatula. Reduce speed to low; add egg whites and vanilla, beating until smooth. Add flour mixture to sugar mixture; beat just until blended.

Divide dough in half; flatten each half into a disk. Wrap each disk with plastic wrap; refrigerate 2 hours or until dough is firm enough to roll.

Preheat oven to 375°. Using a floured rolling pin, roll 1 dough disc to 1/8 inch thick on a lightly floured surface. Use cookie cutters to cut out as many cookies as possible. With a lightly floured spatula, place cookies 1 inch apart on an ungreased large baking sheet.

Bake cookies until lightly browned (about 10-12 minutes). Transfer cookies to wire rack; cool. Top with meringue icing. Repeat procedure with remaining dough and trimmings.

The Christmas Tree

On Christmas, so soon to come, let not the parents take the position that an evergreen placed in the church for the amusement of the Sabbath school scholars is a sin; for it may be made a great blessing. Keep before their minds benevolent objects. In no case should mere amusement be the object of these gatherings. While there may be some who will turn these occasions into seasons of careless levity, and whose minds will not receive the divine impress, to other minds and characters these seasons will be highly beneficial. I am fully satisfied that innocent substitutes can be devised for many gatherings that demoralize.

Christmas is coming. May you all have wisdom to make it a precious season. Let the older church members unite, heart and soul, with their children in their innocent amusement and recreation, in devising ways and means to show true respect to Jesus by bringing to Him gifts and offerings. Let everyone remember the claims of God. His cause cannot go forward without your aid. Let the gifts you have usually bestowed upon one another be placed in the Lord's treasury. . . . In every church let your smaller offerings be placed upon your Christmas tree. Let the precious emblem "evergreen" suggest the holy work of God and His beneficence to us; and the loving heart-work will be to save other souls who are in darkness. Let your works be in accordance with your faith. . . .

Every tree in Satan's garden hangs laden with the fruits of vanity, pride, self-importance, evil desire, extravagance - all poisoned fruit, but very gratifying to the carnal heart. Let the several churches present to God Christmas trees in every church, and then let them hang thereon the fruits of beneficence and gratitude - offerings coming from willing hearts and hands, fruits that God will accept as an expression of our faith and our great love to Him for the gift of His Son, Jesus Christ. Let the evergreen be laden with fruit, rich and pure and holy, acceptable to God. Shall we not have such a Christmas as Heaven can approve?

By Ellen White - Review and Herald, January 29, 1884